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It’s like some sort of time-honored tradition in internet porn, or some ancient rule decided upon by a legendary secret sexy society… “all hardcore sex scenes shalt have the most ridiculoid, punny descriptions written about them as is possible” …or at least, I’m sure the unspoken law goes SOMETHING like that. And since I’m not one to break such a stringent code, here is the lovely “scene summary” for this Halloween-themed episode from I Am Eighteen, starring a totally gorgeous teen witch cutie: “Adorable Tiffany Star is 18 as you can see from her ID and she loves trick-or-treating every Halloween, but this year she’s in for a special treat! The hollowed out pumpkin candy holder is a perfect ‘jack-off-O-lantern’ once Tiffany puts her hand inside it and starts feeling around for candy. She knows right away that the cock in the bucket is the best cream-filled treat she’s going to get during the holiday season.”

So, it’s entirely possible that you’re sitting here, confused as all hell as to why this particular gallery is on NERDKINK.COM – I mean, after all, what’s so nerdy about a girl dressed up for Halloween? Well, nothing… but it just so happens that the girl featured in these photos, Aaliyah Love, is a total internet junkie, so I’m counting that as some sort of points towards nerd-dom. Seriously, the girl is online almost as much as I am… we post on one of the same forums, and she’s got over 2,000 posts already… and that’s not even counting the amount of time she spends surfing porn, working on her official website, and chatting with her members. So yeah, she fits in here nicely. Plus, I just sort of wanted an excuse to post these photos… she’s so damned cute and hot in them, and her costume is amazing! I love this girl so hard, for real.

Happy Halloween, here’s some fantastic titties instead of candy. Now get off my lawn, you crazy trick-or-treaters! Okay, that joke was HORRIBLE. I’m truly sorry. But at least I wasn’t lying about the first part – cam girl extraordinaire Love Gisele has a fucking phenomenal rack. Awesome boobage, if you will. And since Halloween is secretly known as “Official Dress As A Slut Day” among girls, she’s got those amazing boobies out and on display in her sexy devil babe outfit. This set is actually part of a series – go on over to her website to see more Halloween-themed photos & videos, as well as her “spooky” live cam show. She’s also got a nice set featuring both her and Violet Erotica as two horny lesbian devils… all treats, no tricks here!

You’ll have to forgive me. I’m making a bunch of Halloween galleries today for my various ~adult websites~ that I own, and while I freakin’ love this holiday (thus why I’m trying to share as much Halloween porn as is possible), I’m also getting over the stomach flu and so my brain isn’t really giving me much inspiration for what to talk about. So, yeah, this gallery of Ember Reigns as a super-sexy witch babe is awesome, hot, shows off her amazing body and great boobs, and she poses all cute in it, but my ADD is kicking in something fiercetoday (just while typing that last sentence, I caught myself staring at my wall three times). So like… boobs booobs booooooobs, Halloween rulez, Ember Reigns is hot stuff, text text text text, I need to refill my Adderall prescription… the end?

So the “sexy black cat” costume is pretty much one of the most lazy, default Halloween costumes there is – but every so often, you see a girl who can still rock it without seeming too cliched. Well, in this case, it’s two girls who are making quite the pretty kitties - The Jolie Twins, those insanely gorgeous French-African identical twins that everyone in their right mind loves to drool over. The two Parisian pussycats look great in their matching tight black leotards, with cute cat ears and tails to boot… they even have the face makeup and a bowl of milk to finish off the look! And just as all cats love to do, they’re getting awfully snuggly with each other. The Jolie Twins wish you a purrrrrfect Halloween!

When I was a little girl, I was totally obsessed with the Rainbow Brite series – I even had a doll that I carried around everywhere! And it looks like I wasn’t the only one – solo girl newbie Cindy Cupcakes decided to pull out her own Rainbow Brite costume for this year’s Halloween festivities. Sure, it’s not totally accurate (it looks like she lost the arm warmers at some point), but it’s still cute and sexy as hell. I love thigh-high socks, and they just work so well with the teeny-tiny, super-short skirt that she’s rocking as a part of her costume. And for someone like me, who gets super-excited about Halloween, I’m so digging the various decorations surrounding her… especially that ghost at the end that’s getting a bit fresh with Cindy’s cute little booty!

I know that I tend to rave about plenty of different girls, but believe me when I say that Violet Erotica is really, truly one of my all-time favorite camgirls… she’s probably top three, up there with retired “legends” like Oish’s Teresa (who I think she resembles a tiny bit) and the infamous Renee/Nay/Ashton Von. Violet, to me, is like a curvier, prettier, more exotic, fetishy version of Megan Fox… so, in other words, she’s better in just about every way! Plus, she loves Halloween just as much as I do – check out these photos from her the spookily-themed cam show she just gave this week. I’m loving her cute jack-o-lantern socks and neon green skull… what do you call those? Fingerless gloves, gauntlets, whatever. But what really takes the cake (er, takes the candy corn? I’m trying to be seasonally appropriate, here…) is that lucky little marshmallow ghost that’s getting VERY frisky with all of Violet’s naughty bits… how many of you would kill to be in its place?

So I’m sort of left at a loss for words for this gallery… I mean, it’s Bella Vendetta fucking a pumpkin. What more can possibly be said here? Burning Angel has officially stumped me with this one. So I’ve shown a few of my friends this gallery, and so far the best relevant puns/witticisms we’ve been able to come up with are as follows: “Jack-Off-Lantern” and “I thought Halloween only came once a year” from Mento… and the sort of befuddling “I thought you had to take the top off before you could start scraping out the insides” attempt at innuendo from Sab. Okay, we all fail. Just look at the photos, and remember to visit Burning Angel for more pumpkin-fucking Halloween-themed alt porn!

So, I’m currently in the process of decorating my new apartment… and the boyfriend and I have decided to do our bedroom in a sort of calm, traditional Asian theme, to contrast with the bolder colors & decor in the rest of the house. After seeing Nan from Asian Sexy Teens do her thing in these photos, though, I’m rethinking the whole “serene, Zen” atmosphere and wondering if we could just import this girl over to our bedroom and make it an Asian swinger/hot chick themed boom boom room? Um, just kidding, of course, but the thought is a nice one… I guess I can stand to share this hottie with the rest of the Asian Sexy Teens site members… for now…

The First Time Videos recruiters must have some seriously silver tongues, because they consistently find these amazingly gorgeous girls from all walks of life and then convince them to strip down and masturbate for their cameras… where are they finding all these girls, and how do us normal people get there? Damn. So yeah, here’s the current FTV hottie that I’m drooling over: Denise. Totally fresh-faced and cute with a perfect teen body… and a killer smile to top it all off. They’ve got a shitload (over 5000 MB, no joke) of content with this new girl on the site already, from solo masturbation – like in this particular set – to girl/girl action, public nudity, videos, and so on and so forth. Denise is brand new, too, so hopefully the amount of stuff featuring her will just keep growing. Fingers crossed!