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Okay, since like… everyone and their brother is obsessed with that new Roman gladiator show “Spartacus: BLOOD AND SAND” (sorry for the caps, but the subtitle makes me lol uncontrollably) on Starz, here is some on-theme softcore porn starring one of my favorite blonde bombshells! Ember Reigns is no stranger to cosplay – click that link to see a few of her other costumed photo sets – so it’s no surprise that she’s decided to go a bit medieval with skimpy silver armor, a shield, a sword, and some awesome, barbarian-esque boots. I’m not sure exactly how polished her gladiator skills are, but I’m willing to bet that she’d have the upper hand in any battles, regardless – her opponents would be too distracted by them titties and dat ass to put any thought into tactics or defense. And that is why… wait for it… Ember REIGNS!

I can still remember very clearly the first time that I saw Kill Bill – Volume One – it was opening night, the midnight showing, I’d just gotten off work (I was working as a hostess at the time) and I was ready to see what all the hype was about! I wasn’t disappointed – still, that movie is one of my favorites, and the best part, IMO, was all the stuff in Japan with The Bride going up against O-Ren Ishii, her Crazy 88, and, of course – Gogo Yubari. I fucking loved Gogo – hell, I even have her action figure! So when I saw that Anime Fresh had some Gogo/Crazy 88 orgy hentai, I knew it had to be a gallery… I needed to spread the love, as it were. So, in that spirit, and in honor of Gogo herself… Otanoshimi ni! It sure looks like she is, right?

At first glance, I knew that Adriana was hot in that dark-skinned Latina, Rosario Dawson way, but it’s strange… the more I look at her, the more I’m taken by her. Seriously, by the time I’d finished cropping the thumbnails for this gallery, I was about ready to head to South American, bust down the doors at the Real Teen Latinas office and demand that they give me her number or something… that body is just incredible, and her smile is positively heart-melting. Apparently I’m not alone in these feelings, since she’s one of the fan favorites at the Real Teen Latinas website – she started out with just one set, but due to overwhelming member demand, she’s now a regular. I approve!

Okay, so originally, I was going to make some lame jokes about how there’s always that one person at a party who passes out early and gets messed with all night, and how in this gallery Rachel Sexton & Malloy Martin do a sexy re-enactment of such events, but given the lulzy (IN MY OPINION AT LEAST) conversation that happened in IRC while I was making this gallery, I’m just going to copy/paste that here because it captures somewhat perfectly why I, and so many others like me, love Rachel Sexton so damned much:

[19:43] <@jest> …
[19:43] <@jest> i just came
[19:45] <@jest> she hikes. she climbs. she field dresses game. and she’s into quantum mechanics.
[19:45] <@jest> I’m going to save myself for her.
[19:47] <@Mento> i carried a gnome all the way through half life 2 ep 2, so i know a thing or two about gnomery and gnomology
[19:48] <@jest> I have been called a gnome, on account of my tiny head.
[19:48] <@Mento> aren’t you looking to impress this girl joost
[19:48] <@Mento> don’t tell her you have a tiny head

Er, yeah. If you’re wondering wtf we’re talking about, you can get a clarification if you head over to her personal website and read her “about Rachel” intro – though I’ve also included it at the bottom of the page (after all the super-hot pix, of course), because it’s amazing and not to be missed. I love this girl, y’all.

So after successfully completing my Mass Effect 2 run-through on Insanity (Engineer class, of course), I’m finally coming up for air and realizing that I’ve totally neglected all you nerdy porn fans out there. Sorry, but… ME2 is just awesome, I’m sure you all understand, right? So before I let myself get too into Final Fantasy XIII (I’m in Chapter 4 right now and SO digging on playing as Sazh, even if he’s no lake-killing Stahn Aileron, right, Mento?), here are some pictures of a hot Asian chick called Marina Jang stripping down and masturbating with her faithful PS2 at her side. She hails from Asian porn site extraordinaire The Black Alley, a name which just serves to get Jay-Z songs in my head, but if you want more of her or just hot Asians in general, that place will be like heaven to you.

Okay, so first things first… yes, this girl is seriously named Cox. If that name didn’t make her destined for a career in internet nudity, I don’t know what would… but I’m not complaining, because she’s a smoking hot redhead and thusly the perfect girl for me to post on St. Patrick’s Day, right? Right. So anyway, Cox A. hails from that shining beacon of gorgeous naked women also known as MET-ART, and, well, she’s just as beautiful as you’d expect, given their track record of awesome taste. So yeah, I have no idea if she’s actually Irish or not since I’m feeling too lazy to look up her profile, but I think she’s pretty enough with her slender body and curly flame-colored hair that I just don’t really care!

DAT ASS.

I am sort of obsessed with how hot this chick is… even from a straight, female perspective, I think it would be impossible to NOT find Havana Sin just drop-dead gorgeous. She’s got these insanely sultry bedroom eyes that are also Gaga-level wide-eyed and innocent at times, plus some amazing, high fashion model-quality bone structure… combined with an absolutely sick body and a kickass, punk-rockish style. I seriously think that I love her… well, in the most superficial way ever, since I’ve never spoken to her. But since this photo set is from alt porn social community Dangerous Dolls, I could change that. It’s basically like a cooler facebook, with more titties and tattoos and less friend requests from your mom or ex-teachers and employers. And the girls that the title refers to – the Dangerous Dolls themselves – are all there, hanging out in the webcam chat rooms and blogging and uploading music and videos. So yeah… way, way cooler than Facebook, I’d say. Havana, here I come!

The way I’m feeling today, it seems like I should write this gallery description in the form of a “FML” type of thing… “Today, I feel like a giant sack of dog poop, so to cheer myself up, I am posting a gallery of one of my favorite Asian import/softcore models, Christine Mendoza, and there is nothing you can do to stop me. FML” …Well, wait. The first part fits, but there’s nothing bad about Filipina hotties dressed up as sexy schoolgirls, so… um, oops. Unless you’re being like, “Christine, please come fuck my life” as some sort of vaguely Engrish innuendo attempt. …Okay, you know what, I just… I just need to stop writing here. This is horrible, and this gallery is gorgeous and deserves better. Just check out the hot pix, visit Christine’s website, and leave me alone to feel sorry for myself that I can’t even write decently today! So, um… bye?

I may have never bothered to go see Avatar – I know, I know, GASP – because I’ve been way to ADD to sit through movies in theatres lately, but as I don’t live under a rock, I’m well aware of what a global phenomenon the movie has become. Shattering box-office records, getting merchandised to hell and back (seriously, click here to look at the results for a search on Amazon for “Avatar” – it’s nuts), spawning new “Na’vi” sets of otherkin and furries and the like, and of course… creating lots and lots of “Rule 34″ requests on Sam Worthington’s Jake Sully and Zoe Saldana’s Neytiri characters. Well, here you guys go: with the help of the artists over at Cartoon Valley, your wishes for plenty of Avatar porn has been granted! So settle in, relax, and enjoy a more “adult” visit to the world of Pandora!